¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

There will be second earth in space

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-14 189

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to study about space. The resources of earth will disappear someday. Then human have to find some planet to live. Planet is in the space. Then we have to study about space to find the planet to live. Examples of we have to study are the way to go to space, space's dangers, lots of planets and many things. In conclusion, we have to study about space to prepare the New Earth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. You were able to use good expressions. Keep it up! 

- Teacher Debbie


I think we have to study about space.
>> This is a good sentence! 

The resources of earth will disappear someday.
>> This is a good sentence! 

Then human have to find some planet to live.
>> Then humans would have to find some planet where they could live.

Planet is in the space. 
>>  Planets are in space.

Then we have to study about space to find the planet to live. 
>> Therefore, we have to study about it to know where we could live.

Examples of we have to study are the way to go to space, space's dangers, lots of planets and many things.
>>  Here are some of the things we have to study: ways to go to space, its dangers, planets, etc.

In conclusion, we have to study about space to prepare the New Earth.
>> This is a good sentence! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113094 10.20 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 0
113093 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 5
113092 doo doong... ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 242
113091 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 7
113090 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 308
113089 World without clock(tools to tell time): really terrible ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 250
113088 Why do you think people cheat? ÀÓ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113087 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 242
113086 What food do you dislike? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 3
113085 The busiest people ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113084 Can people change? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 0
113083 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 260
113082 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 254
113081 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 222
113080 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113079 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 162
113078 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 227
113077 28 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1891
113076 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113075 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04