¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

There will be second earth in space

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-14 178

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to study about space. The resources of earth will disappear someday. Then human have to find some planet to live. Planet is in the space. Then we have to study about space to find the planet to live. Examples of we have to study are the way to go to space, space's dangers, lots of planets and many things. In conclusion, we have to study about space to prepare the New Earth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. You were able to use good expressions. Keep it up! 

- Teacher Debbie


I think we have to study about space.
>> This is a good sentence! 

The resources of earth will disappear someday.
>> This is a good sentence! 

Then human have to find some planet to live.
>> Then humans would have to find some planet where they could live.

Planet is in the space. 
>>  Planets are in space.

Then we have to study about space to find the planet to live. 
>> Therefore, we have to study about it to know where we could live.

Examples of we have to study are the way to go to space, space's dangers, lots of planets and many things.
>>  Here are some of the things we have to study: ways to go to space, its dangers, planets, etc.

In conclusion, we have to study about space to prepare the New Earth.
>> This is a good sentence! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112859 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 2
112858 Do bad mannered people upset you? Tell me about your experience. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112857 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112856 Dancing ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 192
112855 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 227
112854 What do you like most about your culture? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 164
112853 Describe a healthy meal you have most of the time ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112852 What are the things you\'re going to do when you retire? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 192
112851 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 0
112850 What does it take to keep an eye on something well? (What it... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 231
112849 What characteristics should we look for in a candidate who is... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 188
112848 What are some of the things that you do not give as gifts in... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 1
112847 Would you always care to fulfill the requests of your family and... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 197
112846 What do you think of when you listen to music? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-14 205
112845 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 209
112844 What sports do most people in your country enjoy? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112843 HOMEWORK: Is there a special gift you like to get? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112842 My biggest fear ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 257
112841 10.13 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112840 What part of your high school life do you want to repeat? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 191

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04