¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

There will be second earth in space

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-14 453

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to study about space. The resources of earth will disappear someday. Then human have to find some planet to live. Planet is in the space. Then we have to study about space to find the planet to live. Examples of we have to study are the way to go to space, space's dangers, lots of planets and many things. In conclusion, we have to study about space to prepare the New Earth.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. You were able to use good expressions. Keep it up! 

- Teacher Debbie


I think we have to study about space.
>> This is a good sentence! 

The resources of earth will disappear someday.
>> This is a good sentence! 

Then human have to find some planet to live.
>> Then humans would have to find some planet where they could live.

Planet is in the space. 
>>  Planets are in space.

Then we have to study about space to find the planet to live. 
>> Therefore, we have to study about it to know where we could live.

Examples of we have to study are the way to go to space, space's dangers, lots of planets and many things.
>>  Here are some of the things we have to study: ways to go to space, its dangers, planets, etc.

In conclusion, we have to study about space to prepare the New Earth.
>> This is a good sentence! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111444 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 451
111443 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 6
111442 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 418
111441 What do you think is going to happen in your life next year? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 414
111440 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 432
111439 friend ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 432
111438 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 536
111437 22th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111436 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111435 Senses ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 457
111434 On ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111433 page 17 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 451
111432 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111431 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111430 Is it morally right to spend a lot of money on pets, rather than... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 0
111429 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111428 What comes to mind when you hear the word \'refugee\'? °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 2
111427 Do you have any tips for making air travel more enjoyable? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 538
111426 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 1
111425 Describe your favorite city in South Korea ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 422

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04