¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My hometown

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-14 302

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was 14, I moved in my hometown area.
Now I'm 25. Since I was 14 to 25 so many thing changed in my hometown.
First, it built in very big shoppingmall.
Second, removed the mountain and built in the apartment that area.
Three, Made a subway station.
We can move freely everywhere and we can having fun shopping time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Your hometown is the place which holds countless happy memories of your childhood and youthAt some point, many things will change.  Some are good and some are bad. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was 14, I moved in my hometown area.
>> When I was 14, I moved to my hometown. 

Now I'm 25. 
>> Now, I'm 25 yeas old. 

Since I was 14 to 25 so many thing changed in my hometown.
>> Since I was a kid, many things have changed in my hometown. 

First, it built in very big shoppingmall.
>> First, they built a very big shopping mall. 

Second, removed the mountain and built in the apartment that area.
>> Second, they removed the mountain and built an apartment area. 

Three, Made a subway station.
>> Three, they made a subway station. 

We can move freely everywhere and we can having fun shopping time.
>> We can move freely everywhere and we can having fun shopping. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114017 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 2
114016 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 235
114015 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114014 Would you rather sleep or eat when you\'re tired? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 4
114013 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 3
114012 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 186
114011 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 279
114010 King and Queen ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 275
114009 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 356
114008 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114007 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114006 Sorry Fiona È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 215
114005 Face-to-Face phishing on trise : Police À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114004 Some people believe that happiness and emotional maturity are... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 921
114003 Which do you think is the most difficult language? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 306
114002 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 343
114001 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 308
114000 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 802
113999 1119 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 542
113998 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 948

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04