¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My hometown

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-14 550

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was 14, I moved in my hometown area.
Now I'm 25. Since I was 14 to 25 so many thing changed in my hometown.
First, it built in very big shoppingmall.
Second, removed the mountain and built in the apartment that area.
Three, Made a subway station.
We can move freely everywhere and we can having fun shopping time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Your hometown is the place which holds countless happy memories of your childhood and youthAt some point, many things will change.  Some are good and some are bad. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was 14, I moved in my hometown area.
>> When I was 14, I moved to my hometown. 

Now I'm 25. 
>> Now, I'm 25 yeas old. 

Since I was 14 to 25 so many thing changed in my hometown.
>> Since I was a kid, many things have changed in my hometown. 

First, it built in very big shoppingmall.
>> First, they built a very big shopping mall. 

Second, removed the mountain and built in the apartment that area.
>> Second, they removed the mountain and built an apartment area. 

Three, Made a subway station.
>> Three, they made a subway station. 

We can move freely everywhere and we can having fun shopping time.
>> We can move freely everywhere and we can having fun shopping. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113287 Travel Lover Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 723
113286 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 567
113285 10.25 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 0
113284 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 386
113283 Competition ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 521
113282 what are your favorite leisure sports? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 550
113281 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 503
113280 Please correct the sentence I made À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 771
113279 Skip breakfast ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 1
113278 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 504
113277 Thank you ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 2
113276 dreamtime story À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 10
113275 4 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 453
113274 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 556
113273 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 721
113272 What culture in South Korea are you most proud of? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 0
113271 What do people usually do during the winter season there in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 425
113270 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 455
113269 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 495
113268 Would you describe your workplace as formal or casual? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 530

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04