¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so, how? Have the changes been for the bett

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-15 209

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Actually, my hometown is the city where I am living now.
It is a neighbor city of Seoul city, so there are a lot of amenities since the city was built.
Planty of things were changed in the city, but those are just small things.
My hometown is a city, and there are a lot of amenities.
This fact didn't change and most fact about them are same as before.
Many friends talk about the change of their hometown.
And when I was a kid, I just envied it.
But now, I think it is very nice to ge my hometown as a city.
It doesn't change that much, and I think it is good for me.
Of course, there are a few problems of living in a city.
But I think we can figure them oust, and we should.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Your hometown is the place which holds countless happy memories of your childhood and youthAt some point, many things will change.  Some are good and some are bad. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Actually, my hometown is the city where I am living now.
>> CORRECT

It is a neighbor city of Seoul city, so there are a lot of amenities since the city was built.
>> It is a neighbor city of Seoul so there are a lot of amenities since the city was built.

Planty of things were changed in the city, but those are just small things.
>> Plenty of things has changed in the city, but only minimal ones. 

My hometown is a city, and there are a lot of amenities.
>> My hometown is a city that has a lot of amenities.

This fact didn't change and most fact about them are same as before.
>> This fact didn't change and is still the same as before. 

Many friends talk about the change of their hometown.
>> Many friends talk about the changes in their hometown.

And when I was a kid, I just envied it.
>> CORRECT

But now, I think it is very nice to ge my hometown as a city.
>> But now, I think it is very nice to be in my hometown. 

It doesn't change that much, and I think it is good for me.
>> It didn't change that much but I think it is good for me.

Of course, there are a few problems of living in a city.
>> Of course there are a few problems when we live in a city. 

But I think we can figure them oust, and we should.
>> But I think we can figure them out. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112977 I want to change this in Korean culture. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 187
112976 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112975 Dinosaurs ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 196
112974 Have you ever been in a difficult situation while traveling? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0
112973 how to help friends ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 188
112972 What was your dream job? Why did you like it? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 170
112971 Do you think people who have cosmetic surgery are always happy... Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 209
112970 What is the hardest part about parenting ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 193
112969 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 186
112968 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 390
112967 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112966 homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 227
112965 wealth ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1689
112964 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 201
112963 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 16
112962 Homework day2 Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0
112961 How do you relax on weekend? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 182
112960 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 675
112959 HW ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112958 dream À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04