¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Protecting animal=protecting environment

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-15 533

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Protecting animals means protecting environment. If we protect environment, animals can live better. I'll cite three ways how to protect environment.
First, we must not throw away trash to the environment. It can protect environment from pollution.
Second, we should not drive car too much. Driving car too much can cause air pollution.
Third, we should grow lots of trees. Trees can take in harmful air.
Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect environment(animals). But these three ways are very important things to protect environment, so we should follow these at least.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your work is comprehensible and well-structured.  Please don't forget to put the article THE before the word ENVIRONMENT though. 

- Teacher Debbie


 Protecting animals means protecting environment.
>> Protecting animals means protecting the environment.

If we protect environment, animals can live better.
>> If we protect the environment, animals can live better.

I'll cite three ways how to protect environment.
>> I'll cite three ways how to protect the environment.

First, we must not throw away trash to the environment.
>> First, we must not throw away trash anywhere.

 It can protect environment from pollution.
>> It can protect the environment from pollution.

Second, we should not drive car too much. 
>> Second, we should not drive cars too much. 

Driving car too much can cause air pollution.
>> Driving cars too much can cause air pollution.

Third, we should grow lots of trees.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Trees can take in harmful air.
>> This is a good sentence.

Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect environment(animals).
>> Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect the environment and the animals.

 But these three ways are very important things to protect environment, so we should follow these at least.
>> However, these three ways are the most important to protect the environment, so we should follow them at least.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114683 good habit for our childrens ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 466
114682 my lucky charm? ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 437
114681 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 652
114680 Stent Operation ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 515
114679 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 416
114678 HOMEWORK °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 1
114677 What¡¯s wrong with believing everything you¡¯re hearing? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 338
114676 Do you think birthdays are important? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 571
114675 The most liked ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 0
114674 Are you good at coping with stress? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 3
114673 My goals\' review related to my work.\\ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 1
114672 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 0
114671 Some people think that schools should select students according... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 509
114670 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 458
114669 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 497
114668 How is English different from your mother language (Korean)? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 360
114667 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 0
114666 Why I like my school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 386
114665 Do you enjoy eating out? Why or why not? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 2
114664 Which Down Under would you prefer to visit? What would you like... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 328

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04