¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Protecting animal=protecting environment

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-15 228

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Protecting animals means protecting environment. If we protect environment, animals can live better. I'll cite three ways how to protect environment.
First, we must not throw away trash to the environment. It can protect environment from pollution.
Second, we should not drive car too much. Driving car too much can cause air pollution.
Third, we should grow lots of trees. Trees can take in harmful air.
Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect environment(animals). But these three ways are very important things to protect environment, so we should follow these at least.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your work is comprehensible and well-structured.  Please don't forget to put the article THE before the word ENVIRONMENT though. 

- Teacher Debbie


 Protecting animals means protecting environment.
>> Protecting animals means protecting the environment.

If we protect environment, animals can live better.
>> If we protect the environment, animals can live better.

I'll cite three ways how to protect environment.
>> I'll cite three ways how to protect the environment.

First, we must not throw away trash to the environment.
>> First, we must not throw away trash anywhere.

 It can protect environment from pollution.
>> It can protect the environment from pollution.

Second, we should not drive car too much. 
>> Second, we should not drive cars too much. 

Driving car too much can cause air pollution.
>> Driving cars too much can cause air pollution.

Third, we should grow lots of trees.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Trees can take in harmful air.
>> This is a good sentence.

Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect environment(animals).
>> Frankly, there are a lot of ways to protect the environment and the animals.

 But these three ways are very important things to protect environment, so we should follow these at least.
>> However, these three ways are the most important to protect the environment, so we should follow them at least.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112405 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 254
112404 Games are not just games ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 255
112403 If you cannot have children, would you consider adaption? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112402 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 257
112401 Describe a movie that inspired you the most. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 912
112400 9.30 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112399 How can stress be good or helpful to us? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 355
112398 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 243
112397 Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 316
112396 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 292
112395 My opinion: the most difficult place to survive;DESERT ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 297
112394 How close are you to your extended family? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 617
112393 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112392 HOMEWORK: Do you have a favorite actor? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112391 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 581
112390 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 553
112389 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 267
112388 25 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 347
112387 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 223
112386 20210930 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 241

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04