¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you were given a 2-week vacation with some pocket money, where and how would you spend it? Share

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ì
2021-10-15 227

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I have a 2-week vacation and pocket money, I would backpack through Europe. It has been one of my buckit lists. I have been there once when I was twenty with my friend. It was my first travel to go abroad without my parents. I was so inexperienced at preparing for traveling. I was so obsessed at planning for the travel course, not to miss any important spot, so I could not enjoy the place enough, since I was under the pressure to complete my tight schedule. Moreover, I was too shy to talk with foreign friends comfortably at that time, so I could not talk with other travelers much. Even though it was an enjoyable experience, I really want to go Europe again, since there are so many things I missed. Now I have a courage to make some friends there and I can take my time to wander around on my own. Meeting new friends would refresh me and free myself from a narrow world. Since my daily life tends to be too limited to the hospital, I would like to see much bigger world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Vicky!

I admire your thirst for adventure. Being young and unafraid of what lies ahead during travel is the advantage you get from your youth. So while you can still do these kinds of adventure, by all means, you should travel and broaden your horizons. You deserve it after all for working so hard every time.

Below are some suggestions underscored for your convenience. Kindly go over them. Thank you for sending me this answer.

See you next week in class and here on the composition page!

-T. Donna =)

If I have a 2-week vacation and pocket money, I would backpack through Europe. It has been one of my buckit lists. I have been there once when I was twenty with my friend.
>> Correct!
Or: bucket (Spelling)

 It was my first travel to go abroad without my parents. I was so inexperienced at preparing for traveling. 
>> Correct!

I was so obsessed at planning for the travel course, not to miss any important spot, so I could not enjoy the place enough, since I was under the pressure to complete my tight schedule. 
>> Correct!

Moreover, I was too shy to talk with foreign friends comfortably at that time, so I could not talk with other travelers much. 
>> Correct!

Even though it was an enjoyable experience, I really want to go Europe again, since there are so many things I missed. 
>> Even though it was an enjoyable experience, I really want to go to Europe again, since there are so many things I missed. 

Now I have a courage to make some friends there and I can take my time to wander around on my own. 
>> Now I have the courage to make some friends there and I can take my time to wander around on my own. 

Meeting new friends would refresh me and free myself from a narrow world. 
>> Correct!

Since my daily life tends to be too limited to the hospital, I would like to see much bigger world.
>> Since my daily life tends to be too limited to the hospital, I would like to see the much bigger world.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112402 What is your favorite childhood game and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 229
112401 Describe a movie that inspired you the most. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 856
112400 9.30 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 0
112399 How can stress be good or helpful to us? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 329
112398 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 227
112397 Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 214
112396 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 254
112395 My opinion: the most difficult place to survive;DESERT ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 224
112394 How close are you to your extended family? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 550
112393 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 3
112392 HOMEWORK: Do you have a favorite actor? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112391 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 537
112390 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 473
112389 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 208
112388 25 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 228
112387 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 202
112386 20210930 Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 219
112385 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 674
112384 1 of Oct - writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 190
112383 Writing correction -1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 229

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04