¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*È£
2021-10-18 425

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In South Korea, we usually respect for older people because they have a lot of age. But I think that is not good culture. Because I know that there are a lot of great people who already got a lot of age but there are some people who just want to be respect from the other people even they did nothing or bad things.So I think our culture should be changed into respecting all guy without getting age.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kyoung-Ho! :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In South Korea, we usually respect for older people because they have a lot of age. 
>> In South Korea, we usually respect the elderly people. 

But I think that is not good culture. 
>> CORRECT

Because I know that there are a lot of great people who already got a lot of age but there are some people who just want to be respect from the other people even they did nothing or bad things.
>> There are a lot of elderly people who did a lot great things but there are some who still want to be respected because of their age regardless if they did something bad or did nothing. 

So I think our culture should be changed into respecting all guy without getting age.
>> So I think this culture of ours should be changed to respect the ones that are worth respected to. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113722 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113721 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 2
113720 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113719 low-paying jobs ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 162
113718 Are all cheap items bad in quality? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 2
113717 Please describe your hometown. ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 210
113716 Homework ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 177
113715 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 678
113714 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 0
113713 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 172
113712 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 188
113711 Is technology a good or a bad thing? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 0
113710 HOMEWORK: Any special plans for this weekend? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113709 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 823
113708 HOMEWORK: What are the things that you need to fix? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113707 HOMEWORK: Would you like to travel by car? by plane? by boat? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 1
113706 Homework ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 170
113705 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 513
113704 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 165
113703 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-09 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04