¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*È£
2021-10-18 397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In South Korea, we usually respect for older people because they have a lot of age. But I think that is not good culture. Because I know that there are a lot of great people who already got a lot of age but there are some people who just want to be respect from the other people even they did nothing or bad things.So I think our culture should be changed into respecting all guy without getting age.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kyoung-Ho! :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In South Korea, we usually respect for older people because they have a lot of age. 
>> In South Korea, we usually respect the elderly people. 

But I think that is not good culture. 
>> CORRECT

Because I know that there are a lot of great people who already got a lot of age but there are some people who just want to be respect from the other people even they did nothing or bad things.
>> There are a lot of elderly people who did a lot great things but there are some who still want to be respected because of their age regardless if they did something bad or did nothing. 

So I think our culture should be changed into respecting all guy without getting age.
>> So I think this culture of ours should be changed to respect the ones that are worth respected to. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113141 Can you concentrate on other things when you are listening to... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113140 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 192
113139 Is it a must for a person to have a hobby? why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113138 10.21 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113137 How have birthdays changed from generation to generation in your... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 208
113136 Should we try to make life as uncomfortable as possible for... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 199
113135 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113134 What was the most interesting thing that you did during the... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113133 How can people maintain good health? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 313
113132 Stress ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 445
113131 Hands ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 191
113130 What are some of the most serious environmental problems we have... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 363
113129 What is your daily routine during the weekdays? Explain briefly. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 0
113128 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 247
113127 32 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 170
113126 Worst weather: too hot weather ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 211
113125 What are the advantages and disadvantages of buying a new/used... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 3
113124 HOMEWORK: Would you like to move to another country? (why or why... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 2
113123 HOMEWORK: Would you like have a pet? (If Yes, what pet would you... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 1
113122 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-21 414

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04