¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*È£
2021-10-18 483

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In South Korea, we usually respect for older people because they have a lot of age. But I think that is not good culture. Because I know that there are a lot of great people who already got a lot of age but there are some people who just want to be respect from the other people even they did nothing or bad things.So I think our culture should be changed into respecting all guy without getting age.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kyoung-Ho! :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In South Korea, we usually respect for older people because they have a lot of age. 
>> In South Korea, we usually respect the elderly people. 

But I think that is not good culture. 
>> CORRECT

Because I know that there are a lot of great people who already got a lot of age but there are some people who just want to be respect from the other people even they did nothing or bad things.
>> There are a lot of elderly people who did a lot great things but there are some who still want to be respected because of their age regardless if they did something bad or did nothing. 

So I think our culture should be changed into respecting all guy without getting age.
>> So I think this culture of ours should be changed to respect the ones that are worth respected to. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112533 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 276
112532 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 2
112531 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 388
112530 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112529 Autumn is missing. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112528 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 548
112527 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 256
112526 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 304
112525 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 6
112524 WORD FILE _ CORRECTION RQ from IB ¼­*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 4
112523 What kind of business do you think would be successful during... ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 254
112522 What is your favorite drinks? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 326
112521 Do you like yourself better with make up or no make up? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 280
112520 homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112519 What things are replaceable? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 937
112518 How different is North Korea from South Korea nowadays? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 319
112517 Successful during pendemic ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 705
112516 What kind of business do you think would be successful during... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 329
112515 What is a common reason why people adopt a child in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 1
112514 HOMEWORK : Tell me how you spent your weekend ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-04 314

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04