¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÓ
2021-10-18 283

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number,
but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving,
I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jennifer! :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
>> CORRECT

The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
>> The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkenness is lighter than other countries. 

For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
>> For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is not as severe than in other countries.

As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
>> As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are still increasing. 

If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving, I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.
>> If the society agrees with changing this system for drunk driving, I think the accidents would be lessen to some extent. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114403 Do you believe in \"good luck\" charms? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 1
114402 Why do people want to explore the space? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 262
114401 What do you think is the most difficult thing about being a... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-03 0
114400 Do young men also have body image problems? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 137
114399 Which is better, borrowing or lending stuff? Explain your... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 246
114398 How I take my grandma ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 350
114397 Life without holidays will be awful ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 187
114396 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 638
114395 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 227
114394 Was this year better or worse than last year? How come? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114393 Are you afraid of getting old? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114392 Family is more important than friends. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114391 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 1
114390 Are these sentences grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 598
114389 What is your favorite place in your city and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 183
114388 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 239
114387 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 406
114386 Presentation script related to my work-2 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 2
114385 Presentation script related to my work-1 ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 3
114384 Presentation script related to my work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-02 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04