¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÓ
2021-10-18 249

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number,
but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving,
I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jennifer! :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
>> CORRECT

The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
>> The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkenness is lighter than other countries. 

For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
>> For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is not as severe than in other countries.

As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
>> As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are still increasing. 

If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving, I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.
>> If the society agrees with changing this system for drunk driving, I think the accidents would be lessen to some extent. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114004 Some people believe that happiness and emotional maturity are... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 882
114003 Which do you think is the most difficult language? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 284
114002 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 301
114001 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 264
114000 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 745
113999 1119 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 501
113998 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 909
113997 Are you the type of person who easily apologizes or do you let... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
113996 Do you mind sharing your problems with your friends? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 232
113995 What are the benefits of exercising? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
113994 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113993 Are you happy with the government assistance of old people in... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 212
113992 1118 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 1
113991 What are some of the benefits and disadvantages of electric cars? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 886
113990 HOMEWORK: What are your interests? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 0
113989 HoMeWoRk ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 225
113988 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 629
113987 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 290
113986 Quick reply of your company about my Wensday class. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 2
113985 Post on the bulletin board about my Wednesday ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-18 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04