¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÓ
2021-10-18 407

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number,
but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving,
I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jennifer! :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
>> CORRECT

The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
>> The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkenness is lighter than other countries. 

For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
>> For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is not as severe than in other countries.

As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
>> As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are still increasing. 

If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving, I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.
>> If the society agrees with changing this system for drunk driving, I think the accidents would be lessen to some extent. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112121 page 20 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-19 468
112120 about of my favorite soccer player ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-19 1080
112119 What item do you love to shop? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 622
112118 What values are important to your family? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 1
112117 What is the longest friendship that you have had? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 1
112116 9.17 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-18 1
112115 How has inflation affected you? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1
112114 Why English is hard??????? ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 469
112113 page 12 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 539
112112 My Parents\' Job ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 412
112111 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 610
112110 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 440
112109 What do you do when you are running low with money? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 2
112108 5 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 491
112107 65 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 504
112106 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 457
112105 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112104 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 0
112103 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 629
112102 What do you think is the perfect thing to do this upcoming long... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04