¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÓ
2021-10-18 514

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number,
but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving,
I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jennifer! :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think South Korea is tolerant of drinking a lot and making mistakes.
>> CORRECT

The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkeness is lighter than in other countries.
>> The punishment for those who make mistakes because of drunkenness is lighter than other countries. 

For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is weaker than in other countries.
>> For example, in the case of drunk driving, I do not know the exact number, but I know that the punishment is not as severe than in other countries.

As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are not decreaing.
>> As a result, serious accidents caused by drunk driving are still increasing. 

If the social atmosphere agrees with strong punishment for drunk driving, I think that the damage caused by drunk driving can be reduced to some extent.
>> If the society agrees with changing this system for drunk driving, I think the accidents would be lessen to some extent. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111322 What would you say are your biggest air travel pet peeves? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 642
111321 Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 865
111320 Most people say the book is better than the movie. Is this true... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 1
111319 If you had 3 wishes, what would it be and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 525
111318 My mom\'s favorite flower ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 501
111317 Which country do you \"NOT WISH\" to visit? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 528
111316 What country would you want to be a million miles away from... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 5
111315 What makes someone beautiful. ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 505
111314 In the future, I need to learn more about expressions that are... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-27 427
111313 Homework(*0v0*) Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 514
111312 Everyone in the family looks great, right? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 526
111311 8.26 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 2
111310 3 homework. -jenny- ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 374
111309 page 9 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 546
111308 What kinds of things amaze you? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 3
111307 I had a problem. Can you call me back? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 608
111306 Have you met people from other cultures and ​​what... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 429
111305 The difference between summer and autumn ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 454
111304 I want to study abroad ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 507
111303 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-26 436

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04