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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What was your dream job? Why did you like it?

작성자: 류*선
2021-10-18 409

회원님의 영작문

When I was a high school student, I wanted to become a teacher who teaches the Bible to youth. The reason was that first, I just loved God. Second, I wanted to lead well people who want to know God in a spiritual way. I wanted to give God joy through my job. As a result, I became a pastor and Christian educational director at a Korean church. I wanted to go wherever God calls me. but this life is not easy for me. God also loves me but He gives me hard training that I don't want to or I don't imagine to me sometimes. During hard times, I complained a lot to God. However after training, I realized that God wanted to make me grow up. I want to know what God wants me to do. So I just try to live to follow Jesus everyday and I just want to do my best in my life with God. That's my great joy here and now! I'm sure that God leads the best way for me now even though I'm nothing.

I surely will miss you too!! Thank God for knowing you! Thank you, Faith! :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

This is also another good realization of yours, Jane! I know that God is really guiding you all the time! I can't wait to see you tomorrow!-Faith-
When I was a high school student, I wanted to become a teacher who teaches the Bible to youth. 
>> When I was a high school student, I wanted to become a teacher who teaches the Bible to the youth. 
OR When I was a high school student, I wanted to become a youth Bible teacher.
The reason was that first, I just loved God. 
>> CORRECT
Second, I wanted to lead well people who want to know God in a spiritual way. 
>> Second, I wanted to lead people well who want to know God in a spiritual way. 
I wanted to give God joy through my job. 
>> CORRECT
OR I wanted to give back the glory to God by my job.
As a result, I became a pastor and Christian educational director at a Korean church. 
>> CORRECT
I wanted to go wherever God calls me. 
>> I wanted to go wherever God called me. 
but this life is not easy for me. 
>> But this life is not easy for me. 
God also loves me but He gives me hard training that I don't want to or I don't imagine to me sometimes. 
>> God also loves me but He gives me a hard training that I don't want or I don't want to imagine sometimes. 
During hard times, I complained a lot to God. 
>> During hard times, I complain a lot to God. 
However after training, I realized that God wanted to make me grow up. 
>> However, after each training I realized that God wanted me to grow. 
I want to know what God wants me to do. 
>> CORRECT
So I just try to live to follow Jesus everyday and I just want to do my best in my life with God. 
>> So I just try to live to follow Jesus every day and I just want to do my best in my life with God. 
That's my great joy here and now!
>> That's my great joy here and now! 
I'm sure that God leads the best way for me now even though I'm nothing.
>> CORRECT
I surely will miss you too!! 
>> CORRECT
Thank God for knowing you! 
>> I thank God for knowing you! 
Thank you, Faith! :)
>> CORRECT
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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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