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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I want to change this in Korean culture.

작성자: 박*협
2021-10-18 192

회원님의 영작문

I hope the private education system in Korea will change.
In Korea, most of people can go to high schools or universities.
And the students who has rich parents live in more special place and compete among themselves.
I think this is not about ability, but about money.
I think there's discrimination.
Many Korean students go to many academies from in the morning to evening from elementary school to university and study without free time.
It's amazing that there are no Nobel Prize winner in Korea even they study a lot.
There will be no special memories. If you have friends, most of them are academy or school friends.
I think public education can fully educate children and guarantee their rights.
Even look into advanced country's education, I think they can join a global company and fulfill their dreams without fighting with studying like Korea.
I think there are many things more important than studying in living in the world.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Evan :)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I hope the private education system in Korea will change.
>> CORRECT

In Korea, most of people can go to high schools or universities.
>> CORRECT

And the students who has rich parents live in more special place and compete among themselves.
>> And the students who have rich parents live in special places and compete among themselves.

I think this is not about ability, but about money.
>> I think this is not about the ability, but about money.

I think there's discrimination.
>> CORRECT

Many Korean students go to many academies from in the morning to evening from elementary school to university and study without free time.
>> Many Korean students go to many academies from morning till evening. This is going on from elementary school to to universities. 

It's amazing that there are no Nobel Prize winner in Korea even they study a lot.
>> It's amazing that there are no Nobel Prize winners in Korea even if people study a lot. 

There will be no special memories. 
>> CORRECT

If you have friends, most of them are academy or school friends.
>> If you have friends here, you would mostly meet them from school. 

I think public education can fully educate children and guarantee their rights.
>> CORRECT

Even look into advanced country's education, I think they can join a global company and fulfill their dreams without fighting with studying like Korea.
>>If we look at other country's educational system, people can still join global companies and fulfill their dreams without the competing through education. 

I think there are many things more important than studying in living in the world
>> I think there are many things that are more important than studying in living in the world. 
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[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
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문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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