무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

작성자: 류*주
2021-10-18 279

회원님의 영작문

If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
Confucianism is very great thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate other people.
But in South Korea, people think the young have to respect and considerate the old more stronger.
So most of younger people use honorific and they considerate certain things to older people.
But I think we have to respect and considerate all people weather a person is younger or older.
So If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
As I talked, Confucianism is not a bad thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate all people.
But Korea understood it badly and they thought younger people have to respect older people more.
So I just want to change this culture.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi John:)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
>> If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, it would be "Confucianism". 

Confucianism is very great thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate other people.
>> Confucianism is a great thought because it tells a person to respect and be considerate of other people.

But in South Korea, people think the young have to respect and considerate the old more stronger.
>> But in South Korea, people think the young people have to respect and consider older people. 

So most of younger people use honorific and they considerate certain things to older people.
>> That's why the younger generation use honorific words and they are very considerate towards older people. 

But I think we have to respect and considerate all people weather a person is younger or older.
>>But I think we have to respect and be considerate to everyone regardless of their age. 

So If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
>> So if I can change something in the culture in South Korea, it would be Confucianism.

As I talked, Confucianism is not a bad thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate all people.
>> As I said, Confucianism is not a bad thing because it teaches us to respect the elderly people. 

But Korea understood it badly and they thought younger people have to respect older people more.
>> But Koreans misinterpret it and think that younger people have to respect older people more. 

So I just want to change this culture.
>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
113417 It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be... 김*환 완료 2021-10-31 374
113416 What are the endangered animals in your country? 선* 완료 2021-10-31 352
113415 Homework 방*영 완료 2021-10-31 434
113414 Have you ever volunteered to help victims of natural disasters?... 선* 완료 2021-10-31 327
113413 My favorite restaurant 민*정 완료 2021-10-31 1
113412 What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? 선* 완료 2021-10-31 753
113411 Advertisements of the e-mail 유*진 완료 2021-10-31 262
113410 If you can spend a day with a famous person, who would you pick... 선* 완료 2021-10-30 325
113409 10 채*서 완료 2021-10-30 440
113408 8 채*서 완료 2021-10-30 237
113407 It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should... 황*하 완료 2021-10-30 343
113406 In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on... 황*하 완료 2021-10-30 531
113405 What are some effective ways to handle rejections? 김*국 완료 2021-10-30 2
113404 When is the right time for you to fall in love? Answer in a few... 이*연 완료 2021-10-30 901
113403 homework 남*만 완료 2021-10-30 328
113402 If you can spend a day with a famous person, who would you pick... 여*진 완료 2021-10-30 1
113401 Turtles can breathe by their hips 김*우 완료 2021-10-29 896
113400 Natural disaster 이*은 완료 2021-10-29 544
113399 Have you ever lost something while travelling? 문*율 완료 2021-10-29 366
113398 homework 김*연 완료 2021-10-29 881

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]