¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-18 374

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
Confucianism is very great thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate other people.
But in South Korea, people think the young have to respect and considerate the old more stronger.
So most of younger people use honorific and they considerate certain things to older people.
But I think we have to respect and considerate all people weather a person is younger or older.
So If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
As I talked, Confucianism is not a bad thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate all people.
But Korea understood it badly and they thought younger people have to respect older people more.
So I just want to change this culture.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Korea's culture is actually great. But like any other cultures, it also has flaws. Some people want to prolong it and some don't. It is always different based on people's perspectives. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
>> If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, it would be "Confucianism". 

Confucianism is very great thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate other people.
>> Confucianism is a great thought because it tells a person to respect and be considerate of other people.

But in South Korea, people think the young have to respect and considerate the old more stronger.
>> But in South Korea, people think the young people have to respect and consider older people. 

So most of younger people use honorific and they considerate certain things to older people.
>> That's why the younger generation use honorific words and they are very considerate towards older people. 

But I think we have to respect and considerate all people weather a person is younger or older.
>>But I think we have to respect and be considerate to everyone regardless of their age. 

So If I can change something in the culture in South Korea, I want to change Confucianism.
>> So if I can change something in the culture in South Korea, it would be Confucianism.

As I talked, Confucianism is not a bad thought because it tells a person has to respect and considerate all people.
>> As I said, Confucianism is not a bad thing because it teaches us to respect the elderly people. 

But Korea understood it badly and they thought younger people have to respect older people more.
>> But Koreans misinterpret it and think that younger people have to respect older people more. 

So I just want to change this culture.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112289 page 32 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 438
112288 Korean imaginary creature: HATAE ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 688
112287 HOMEWORK: What expensive thing would you like to buy? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112286 9/27 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 470
112285 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 511
112284 HOMEWORK: What did you last weekend? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112283 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 322
112282 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 2
112281 Outside ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112280 21 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 957
112279 [Homework] When was the last time you went to the beach? What... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 2
112278 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112277 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 392
112276 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 352
112275 Do you have garage sales in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112274 Were you afraid of anything when you were a child? What was it? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112273 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 796
112272 If you can make a rule in your school, what would it be and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 804
112271 What do you think can depress kids nowadays? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112270 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 489

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04