¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Not important because of its origin

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-10-18 712

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, Halloween is not important. And it's not a good thing. Do you know its origin? The origin is awful. The tribe called celt in island, it gave a person to their god for the person who died. I think that give person to god for offering is wrong. The tribe wandered with black clothes and made other tribe offer woman to give god forcefully. If the other tribe don't agree, Celt made fire all over the other tribe's village. Because of this origin, it became the best holiday to like a group called Illuminati. However, lots of people don't know the origin of Halloween.(me too before find information) In conclusion, I think it is not good day.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! You did an awesome job. You researched about the origin of Halloween to support your opinion. Amazing! Keep it up!

- Teacher Debbie

In my opinion, Halloween is not important.
>> This is a good sentence.

 And it's not a good thing.
>> Moreover, it's not a good thing.

 Do you know its origin? 
>> This is a good sentence.

The origin is awful. 
>> This is a good sentence.

The tribe called celt in island, it gave a person to their god for the person who died. 
>> An island tribe called Celt sacrificed a person to their god.

I think that give person to god for offering is wrong. 
>> I think sacrificing a person to a god is wrong.

The tribe wandered with black clothes and made other tribe offer woman to give god forcefully.
>> The tribe wandered with black clothes and made other tribes offer women to their god.

 If the other tribe don't agree, Celt made fire all over the other tribe's village. 
>> When the other tribes didn't agree, the Celt burned the other tribes' villages. 

Because of this origin, it became the best holiday to like a group called Illuminati. 
>> Because of this origin, it became the best holiday for a group called Illuminati. 

However, lots of people don't know the origin of Halloween.(me too before find information) 
>> However, lots of people don't know the origin of Halloween. I didn't know about it, too.

In conclusion, I think it is not good day.
>> In conclusion, it is not a good day.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116974 What is your favorite family gathering? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 4
116973 1. tasty My food dad cooks 2. planet Earth a is the 3. is dad... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 1388
116972 Food expression ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 1570
116971 What do you think happened to dinosaurs? Why are children so... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 1042
116970 A phone operator ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 2
116969 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 864
116968 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 909
116967 What are good study habits? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 1226
116966 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 864
116965 Where is the United States of America? / Why do you want to... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 629
116964 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 0
116963 Find the adjectives in the sentences. Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 825
116962 lesson 8 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 1014
116961 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 758
116960 Writing Task (Mar 1th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 979
116959 South Korea is about to approve vaccinating children ages 5-11.... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 912
116958 Why didn\'t I do the right thing? ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 611
116957 Just Start ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 643
116956 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 1072
116955 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-02 879

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04