¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

young people

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2021-10-19 178

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Young people is losing the satisfation of their own's work and the value of labor.
I regard these values as very important fators of happiness in our life.
However the current trend, especially Korea, is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
It is unfortunate that young people are only concerning to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items and foreign cars as means of self-expression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Ms. Lily! Thank you for spending time doing your homework. You expressed yourself well. Keep it up and always bring with you that passion.
Aki~
Young people is losing the satisfation of their own's work and the value of labor.
>>> Young people are losing the satisfaction of their own's work and the value of labor.
I regard these values as very important fators of happiness in our life.
>>> I regard these values as very important factors of happiness in our life.
>>> I consider these values as essential factors of happiness in life.
However the current trend, especially Korea, is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
>>>  However, the current trend, especially in Korea, it is making young people pursue material consumption desire.
It is unfortunate that young people are only concerning to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items and foreign cars as means of self-expression.
>>> It is unfortunate that young people are only concerned to buy luxury bags, expensive brand items, and foreign cars as means of self-expression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113179 The reason to study English well. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 204
113178 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113177 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 3
113176 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 4
113175 What kind of activity do you want to try to be more fit than now? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113174 HOMEWORK: Do you would be a great leader? (why/why not) ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113173 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 659
113172 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113171 HOMEWORK: What kind of goal would you like to achieve now? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113170 HOMEWORK: What tourist attractions would you like to see in... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113169 36 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 482
113168 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113167 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 193
113166 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 0
113165 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113164 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 3
113163 Who is the most annoying person you know? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113162 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113161 What is the hardest problem you have ever faced in your life?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 246
113160 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 179

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04