¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the main problem faced by your hometown?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*¿µ
2021-10-19 211

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hometown is a city there\'s gradually developing, so there are many shopping malls and apartments. Hence, my hometown people were stuck in a traffic jam. When I went to school in the morning, my parents drove me to school by a car, but there was extreme traffic jam. So, I
was late for school. Therefore, I think the main problems in my hometown is great traffic jam.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sally!

Thank you for answering the question. Let's discuss it later in the class. Please check my suggestions and correction below! See you in a while ^_^

~T. Roanne  ^^

1. My hometown is a city there\'s gradually developing, so there are many shopping malls and apartments. 
>>My hometown is a city that's gradually developing, so there are many shopping malls and apartments. 
2. Hence, my hometown people were stuck in a traffic jam. 
>> Hence, my hometown's people are usually stuck in a traffic jam. 
3. When I went to school in the morning, my parents drove me to school by a car, but there was extreme traffic jam. 
>> When I go to the school in the morning, my parents usually drive me to school by a car, but there is usually an extreme traffic jam. 
4. So, I was late for school. 
>> Sometimes, I was late for school.
5. Therefore, I think the main problems in my hometown is great traffic jam.
>>Therefore, I think the main problem in my hometown is the heavy traffic jam.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113024 24 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 145
113023 20 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 153
113022 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 175
113021 My hair ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 163
113020 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 153
113019 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113018 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 3
113017 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 2
113016 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 2
113015 What do you think is the worst crime a person could commit? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 0
113014 If you could recommend one way to learn English fast to a new... ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 178
113013 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 3
113012 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 221
113011 Nearly 2/3 of University Students Give up Job Search À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 0
113010 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 157
113009 Homework from the lesson 10182021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 192
113008 young people ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 167
113007 How do you feel about fashion brands embracing \'Body-Positive\'... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 226
113006 Anne of green gable. ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 629
113005 when they go to cave À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 582

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04