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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10192021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-20 221

회원님의 영작문



Oct 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons. Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time. When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money. People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee!  You have answered the question appropriately.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible.  Be careful with word usage though.  

- Debbie


Oct. 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons.
>> This is a good sentence.

Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. 
>> Some are obligated to travel because of their jobs, while others deliberately make time and money to travel. 

So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time.
>> Therefore, traveling is an obligation to some people, while to others it is a luxurious way of spending their free time.

When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
>> However, when it comes to leisure travel, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.

The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money.
>> In my opinion, the main reason traveling is a luxury is that it needs two important things -time and money.

People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. 
>> This is a good sentence.

While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 
>> While human beings are innately curious, for some people, this quality is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 

Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.
>> Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea, for instance.
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113823 Do you consider appearance when you choose a friend? 이*연 완료 2021-11-12 150
113822 Forgive 최*정 완료 2021-11-12 192
113821 What is the best art for you? 이*람 완료 2021-11-12 1
113820 Appointment 김*호 완료 2021-11-12 188
113819 My Homework 강*우 완료 2021-11-12 170
113818 nap helps me to work in good vibe 강* 완료 2021-11-12 6
113817 Kindly explain your family in your own words. Make at least 6 or... 여*진 완료 2021-11-12 0
113816 Who do you think is the best South Korean politician? Explain... 여*진 완료 2021-11-12 0
113815 homework 김*연 완료 2021-11-12 150
113814 Homework 백*진 완료 2021-11-12 214
113813 What career opportunities are there for the younger generation... 류*주 완료 2021-11-12 693
113812 Friday homeowrk 류*우 완료 2021-11-12 170
113811 Homework 강*선 완료 2021-11-12 197
113810 Homework 김*혁 완료 2021-11-12 249
113809 1112 김*진 완료 2021-11-12 219
113808 Respect 기*현 완료 2021-11-12 243
113807 What is the difference between families 30 years ago and today? 문*율 완료 2021-11-12 201

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
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04

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