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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10192021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-20 217

회원님의 영작문



Oct 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons. Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time. When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money. People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee!  You have answered the question appropriately.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible.  Be careful with word usage though.  

- Debbie


Oct. 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons.
>> This is a good sentence.

Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. 
>> Some are obligated to travel because of their jobs, while others deliberately make time and money to travel. 

So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time.
>> Therefore, traveling is an obligation to some people, while to others it is a luxurious way of spending their free time.

When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
>> However, when it comes to leisure travel, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.

The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money.
>> In my opinion, the main reason traveling is a luxury is that it needs two important things -time and money.

People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. 
>> This is a good sentence.

While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 
>> While human beings are innately curious, for some people, this quality is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 

Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.
>> Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea, for instance.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
113665 homework 정*호 완료 2021-11-08 0
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113663 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing... 류*주 완료 2021-11-08 457
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113661 What do you do to stay healthy? 김*은 완료 2021-11-08 3
113660 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? 김*은 완료 2021-11-08 1
113659 My siblings 민*정 완료 2021-11-08 1
113658 Is your personality suited to your job? 김*진 완료 2021-11-08 2
113657 Homework 강*선 완료 2021-11-08 225
113656 Homework 박*리 완료 2021-11-08 218
113655 Homework 윤*임 완료 2021-11-08 202
113654 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-11-08 2
113653 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-11-08 2
113652 Punctuality 기*현 완료 2021-11-08 370
113651 e-mail correction 박*광 완료 2021-11-08 3
113650 Homework 권*미 완료 2021-11-08 0
113649 What is the best public transport to you? 문*율 완료 2021-11-08 434
113648 What I do in spring and summer 김*성 완료 2021-11-08 194
113647 job 권*희 완료 2021-11-08 175
113646 How do you keep in touch with your relatives and friends? 주*석 완료 2021-11-08 1

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