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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10192021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-20 178

회원님의 영작문



Oct 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons. Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time. When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money. People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee!  You have answered the question appropriately.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible.  Be careful with word usage though.  

- Debbie


Oct. 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons.
>> This is a good sentence.

Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. 
>> Some are obligated to travel because of their jobs, while others deliberately make time and money to travel. 

So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time.
>> Therefore, traveling is an obligation to some people, while to others it is a luxurious way of spending their free time.

When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
>> However, when it comes to leisure travel, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.

The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money.
>> In my opinion, the main reason traveling is a luxury is that it needs two important things -time and money.

People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. 
>> This is a good sentence.

While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 
>> While human beings are innately curious, for some people, this quality is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 

Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.
>> Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea, for instance.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
112919 First Time Study 김*호 완료 2021-10-15 181
112918 Homework {10/15} 차*빈 완료 2021-10-15 184
112917 homework 오*은 완료 2021-10-15 194
112916 What are your fears and how are you going to overcome them? 오*은 완료 2021-10-15 201
112915 If you\'re going to have a party, where would you like to have... 노*이 완료 2021-10-15 3
112914 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... 류*주 완료 2021-10-15 211
112913 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... 여*진 완료 2021-10-15 1
112912 Friday homeowrk 류*우 완료 2021-10-15 189
112911 Which greeting kind of annoys you? 이*람 완료 2021-10-15 4
112910 Could liking chocolate be considered a \"vice\"? 양*빈 완료 2021-10-15 2
112909 homework 이* 완료 2021-10-15 208
112908 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. 전*영 완료 2021-10-15 168
112907 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. 전*영 완료 2021-10-15 433
112906 HOMEWORK: Choose the right word. 전*영 완료 2021-10-15 233
112905 HOMEWORK 전*영 완료 2021-10-15 238
112904 Can we be happy if we are poor? Why or why not? 김*연 완료 2021-10-15 1
112903 Do you manage to sleep as much as you need? If not, why not? 양*빈 완료 2021-10-15 0
112902 Homework 이*선 완료 2021-10-15 1
112901 Dancing 기*현 완료 2021-10-15 175
112900 why eat vegetables are 김*성 완료 2021-10-15 211

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03
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