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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10192021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-20 195

회원님의 영작문



Oct 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons. Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time. When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money. People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee!  You have answered the question appropriately.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible.  Be careful with word usage though.  

- Debbie


Oct. 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons.
>> This is a good sentence.

Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. 
>> Some are obligated to travel because of their jobs, while others deliberately make time and money to travel. 

So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time.
>> Therefore, traveling is an obligation to some people, while to others it is a luxurious way of spending their free time.

When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
>> However, when it comes to leisure travel, I’d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.

The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it’s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money.
>> In my opinion, the main reason traveling is a luxury is that it needs two important things -time and money.

People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. 
>> This is a good sentence.

While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 
>> While human beings are innately curious, for some people, this quality is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 

Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.
>> Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea, for instance.
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112628 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-10-07 1
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112626 Time zone 윤*진 완료 2021-10-07 2
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112624 What do you do to get the things that you desire? 김*진 완료 2021-10-07 3
112623 How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be... 하*윤 완료 2021-10-07 207
112622 What questions don’t you mind people asking you? 주*석 완료 2021-10-07 3
112621 What do you know about Korean drinking culture? 서*영 완료 2021-10-07 3
112620 10.06 homework 임*윤 완료 2021-10-06 1
112619 10.05 homework 임*윤 완료 2021-10-06 1
112618 1006 김*진 완료 2021-10-06 2
112617 Tell me about your favorite holiday. 김*은 완료 2021-10-06 0
112616 Homework 김*지 완료 2021-10-06 2
112615 What are the things we could do to protect ourselves from crime? 김*은 완료 2021-10-06 1
112614 Homework 김*윤 완료 2021-10-06 221
112613 Discussion 권*진 완료 2021-10-06 226
112612 Eating habit. 최*정 완료 2021-10-06 199
112611 Homework 김*연 완료 2021-10-06 229
112610 Awful world if there is not respect. 김*우 완료 2021-10-06 237

HOW TO USE IT?

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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04

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