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Homework from the lesson 10192021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-20 321

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Oct 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons. Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time. When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I¡¯d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it¡¯s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money. People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee!  You have answered the question appropriately.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible.  Be careful with word usage though.  

- Debbie


Oct. 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?


People travel for different reasons.
>> This is a good sentence.

Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. 
>> Some are obligated to travel because of their jobs, while others deliberately make time and money to travel. 

So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time.
>> Therefore, traveling is an obligation to some people, while to others it is a luxurious way of spending their free time.

When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I¡¯d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
>> However, when it comes to leisure travel, I¡¯d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.

The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it¡¯s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money.
>> In my opinion, the main reason traveling is a luxury is that it needs two important things -time and money.

People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. 
>> This is a good sentence.

While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 
>> While human beings are innately curious, for some people, this quality is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 

Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.
>> Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea, for instance.
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