¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10192021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-20 356

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Oct 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?

People travel for different reasons. Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time. When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I¡¯d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it¡¯s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money. People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eunbee!  You have answered the question appropriately.  The overall content of your work is comprehensible.  Be careful with word usage though.  

- Debbie


Oct. 19 2021
Homework: Is traveling a luxury or a necessity?


People travel for different reasons.
>> This is a good sentence.

Some are obligated to travel because their jobs need them to, while others will deliberately make time and money to travel. 
>> Some are obligated to travel because of their jobs, while others deliberately make time and money to travel. 

So it can be said traveling is an obligation to some people while other people see it as a luxurious way of spending their free time.
>> Therefore, traveling is an obligation to some people, while to others it is a luxurious way of spending their free time.

When it comes to traveling for leisure, however, I¡¯d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.
>> However, when it comes to leisure travel, I¡¯d say it is more of a luxury than a necessity.

The main reason that makes me think traveling as a luxury is that it¡¯s generally made with two main ingredients, time and money.
>> In my opinion, the main reason traveling is a luxury is that it needs two important things -time and money.

People come from different financial backgrounds, and you see the difference between the poor and the rich as young as a kindergartener. 
>> This is a good sentence.

While human beings are said to be the animal of curiosity, for some people this instinct is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 
>> While human beings are innately curious, for some people, this quality is something that cannot be satisfied by actual experiences. 

Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea for instance.
>> Take one class of students in a middle school in Korea, for instance.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111837 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 1
111836 Police arrest 18, including TV celebrity, on charges of... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 1
111835 30th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 354
111834 What causes obesity? ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 1
111833 What do you think would your life be when you retired? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 432
111832 What is your greatest fear? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 387
111831 How do you maintain your good mind and body condition? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111830 What are your plans for tomorrow? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 418
111829 why letter is important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 653
111828 ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 255
111827 Homework : Can you tell me something about your city ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111826 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 440
111825 page 45 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 484
111824 9.9 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 2
111823 [Homework] What is the difference between \'HUNTED\' and... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 387
111822 What are your plans for this coming Chu Seok? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 610
111821 Is it better to be a teenager today or during your time? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 548
111820 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 434
111819 Playing game ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 560
111818 What are some situations wherein some people misinterpret a body... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-09 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04