¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-20 214

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't usually do this but I sometimes speak bad words to other people.
If I get surprise or if I had unlucky or angry events, then I speak bad words.
But I think I can stop speaking bad words when I had unlucky or angry events because what I have to do is just control my emotions.
The problem is I can't stop speaking bad words when I get surprised about something.
It is very hard to stop because it became one of my habits.
So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use right words and I shouldn't think about the bad words.
The reason that I am speaking bad words is it became one of my habits.
So I have to have a new great habit that speaking right words to other people.
If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix speaking bad words.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. They jeopardize your health - both mentally and physically. And they waste your time and energy.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I don't usually do this but I sometimes speak bad words to other people.
>> I don't usually do this but I sometimes say bad words to other people.

If I get surprise or if I had unlucky or angry events, then I speak bad words.
>> If I get surprise or something unlucky happens, I curse. 

But I think I can stop speaking bad words when I had unlucky or angry events because what I have to do is just control my emotions.
>> Sometimes I can't help but do it because I can't control my emotions. 

The problem is I can't stop speaking bad words when I get surprised about something.
>> The problem is that I do it unconsciously. 

It is very hard to stop because it became one of my habits.
>> CORRECT

So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use right words and I shouldn't think about the bad words.
>> So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use the right words and I shouldn't think about bad words.

The reason that I am speaking bad words is it became one of my habits.
>> The reason behind this is because it has become one of my habits. 

So I have to have a new great habit that speaking right words to other people.
>> So I need to come up with a new good habit. 

If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix speaking bad words.
>> If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix this bad one. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112999 I\'m happy!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 310
112998 1018(3) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 222
112997 1018(2) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112996 Not important because of its origin ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 250
112995 1018 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 2
112994 What¡¯s Your Work Style? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 205
112993 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 313
112992 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 199
112991 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 196
112990 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 391
112989 Busy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 2
112988 The job I would like to have ten years from now ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 201
112987 What are some good table manners? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 1
112986 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0
112985 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 236
112984 Homework {10/18} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 201
112983 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 186
112982 If you can change something in the culture in South Korea, what... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 0
112981 Do you like eating out in a restaurant? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 226
112980 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-18 186

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04