¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-20 363

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't usually do this but I sometimes speak bad words to other people.
If I get surprise or if I had unlucky or angry events, then I speak bad words.
But I think I can stop speaking bad words when I had unlucky or angry events because what I have to do is just control my emotions.
The problem is I can't stop speaking bad words when I get surprised about something.
It is very hard to stop because it became one of my habits.
So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use right words and I shouldn't think about the bad words.
The reason that I am speaking bad words is it became one of my habits.
So I have to have a new great habit that speaking right words to other people.
If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix speaking bad words.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. They jeopardize your health - both mentally and physically. And they waste your time and energy.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I don't usually do this but I sometimes speak bad words to other people.
>> I don't usually do this but I sometimes say bad words to other people.

If I get surprise or if I had unlucky or angry events, then I speak bad words.
>> If I get surprise or something unlucky happens, I curse. 

But I think I can stop speaking bad words when I had unlucky or angry events because what I have to do is just control my emotions.
>> Sometimes I can't help but do it because I can't control my emotions. 

The problem is I can't stop speaking bad words when I get surprised about something.
>> The problem is that I do it unconsciously. 

It is very hard to stop because it became one of my habits.
>> CORRECT

So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use right words and I shouldn't think about the bad words.
>> So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use the right words and I shouldn't think about bad words.

The reason that I am speaking bad words is it became one of my habits.
>> The reason behind this is because it has become one of my habits. 

So I have to have a new great habit that speaking right words to other people.
>> So I need to come up with a new good habit. 

If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix speaking bad words.
>> If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix this bad one. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113911 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 245
113910 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 283
113909 Would you rather be poor and happy of rich and unhappy? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113908 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 288
113907 Stress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2
113906 Kindly answer the following in essay form. Are there any... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 241
113905 Why do we dream? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 0
113904 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 343
113903 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 399
113902 What is the most important thing in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 277
113901 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2
113900 about the whisper ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 724
113899 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113898 Studying science ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 0
113897 astronaut training(past) À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113896 How can you promote your country to foreigners? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 629
113895 Is fashion important or not important? Why or why not? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 400
113894 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113893 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0
113892 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04