¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-10-20 330

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't usually do this but I sometimes speak bad words to other people.
If I get surprise or if I had unlucky or angry events, then I speak bad words.
But I think I can stop speaking bad words when I had unlucky or angry events because what I have to do is just control my emotions.
The problem is I can't stop speaking bad words when I get surprised about something.
It is very hard to stop because it became one of my habits.
So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use right words and I shouldn't think about the bad words.
The reason that I am speaking bad words is it became one of my habits.
So I have to have a new great habit that speaking right words to other people.
If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix speaking bad words.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. They jeopardize your health - both mentally and physically. And they waste your time and energy.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I don't usually do this but I sometimes speak bad words to other people.
>> I don't usually do this but I sometimes say bad words to other people.

If I get surprise or if I had unlucky or angry events, then I speak bad words.
>> If I get surprise or something unlucky happens, I curse. 

But I think I can stop speaking bad words when I had unlucky or angry events because what I have to do is just control my emotions.
>> Sometimes I can't help but do it because I can't control my emotions. 

The problem is I can't stop speaking bad words when I get surprised about something.
>> The problem is that I do it unconsciously. 

It is very hard to stop because it became one of my habits.
>> CORRECT

So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use right words and I shouldn't think about the bad words.
>> So I think if I want to stop it, I have to use the right words and I shouldn't think about bad words.

The reason that I am speaking bad words is it became one of my habits.
>> The reason behind this is because it has become one of my habits. 

So I have to have a new great habit that speaking right words to other people.
>> So I need to come up with a new good habit. 

If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix speaking bad words.
>> If I keep doing it, it will be my habit so I think I can fix this bad one. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112563 Just my personal opinion :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 289
112562 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-06 403
112561 Why do you think there are some couples in South Korea that... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 461
112560 1005 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 3
112559 How can you take care of an old person? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 2
112558 If you can have your own YouTube channel, what kind of content... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112557 Should the media show graphic violence? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 550
112556 Please check if the grammar and context are correct. ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 442
112555 [Homework] What do you do for an energy boost? Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1
112554 Musical\'s dis/advantage. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 834
112553 love ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 496
112552 Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 336
112551 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 426
112550 discussion boards on the Internet! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 376
112549 My family\'s vacation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 461
112548 41 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 861
112547 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 298
112546 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 2
112545 Make 5 sentences to describe your bedroom and post it on the... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 372
112544 Crimes3 ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04