¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Journal

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¼±
2021-10-21 670

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I was very exhausted all day since yesterday was a long day. What I learned today was my physical conditions have a great impact on my emotional conditions. It was very hard to focus on my daughter and wife emotionally. I knew that I must have focused on them emotionally and mentally to support them as a husband and daddy. But I was obsessed with my emotions. I have been thinking about church issues consciously as well as subconcisouly. I tried to cut off my emotions from church issues but I learned that I didn't have the positive energy to do so. I was not free from church issues emotionally. The spiritual process (praying out loudly) was a huge help to overcome it. Through prayer, I was able to check where I was spiritually and emotionally. I found negative emotions toward people who have issues with me within my heart. (Apparently, we don't have any issues but the tension between us emotionally). Thankful to God. He is always faithful and loves me. Faith! Jisun misses your class!!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Congratulations for completing your first homework, Han! I will keep and treasure the lessons I've learned from your writing. Please say "hi" to Jane for me!
-Faith-
I was very exhausted all day since yesterday was a long day. 
>> I was exhausted all day since yesterday was a long day. 
What I learned today was my physical conditions have a great impact on my emotional conditions. 
>> CORRECT
It was very hard to focus on my daughter and wife emotionally. 
>> CORRECT
OR It was tremendously difficult to concentrate on my daughter and wife emotionally. 
I knew that I must have focused on them emotionally and mentally to support them as a husband and daddy. 
>> CORRECT
But I was obsessed with my emotions. 
>> CORRECT
I have been thinking about church issues consciously as well as subconcisouly. 
>> I have been thinking about church issues consciously as well as subconsciously. 
I tried to cut off my emotions from church issues but I learned that I didn't have the positive energy to do so. 
>> CORRECT
OR I tried to cut off my emotions from church issues but I learned that I didn't have the courage to do so. 
I was not free from church issues emotionally. 
>> CORRECT
OR I was emotionally entangled in church issues.
The spiritual process (praying out loudly) was a huge help to overcome it. 
>> CORRECT
Through prayer, I was able to check where I was spiritually and emotionally. 
>> CORRECT
OR Through prayer, I was able to evaluate my spiritual and emotional state. 
I found negative emotions toward people who have issues with me within my heart. 
>> CORRECT
(Apparently, we don't have any issues but the tension between us emotionally). 
>> (Apparently, we don't have any issues but it's the tension between us emotionally). 
Thankful to God. 
>> CORRECT
He is always faithful and loves me. 
>> CORRECT
Faith! Jisun misses your class!!
>> Faith, Jisun misses your class!!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116018 Which is better: to complain or not to complain? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 1043
116017 Have a weekend!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 1339
116016 How do you feel and what happens to you when you don\'t get... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 686
116015 The first time that my father touched my shoulder ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 496
116014 Talk about your best memory from a holiday ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 1
116013 What do you think is interesting about your culture? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 0
116012 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 969
116011 Essay (Jan 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 849
116010 ielts task 1 ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 812
116009 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 537
116008 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 535
116007 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 724
116006 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 633
116005 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 435
116004 What motivates you to keep working? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 890
116003 Is it important to have a goal? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 663
116002 Food chain boosts profile on back of BTS member\'s... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
116001 More people turn to lady luck amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
116000 Number of discouraged workers in Korea hits new high in 2021 À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 1
115999 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 1125

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04