¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-10-21 444

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?
- People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeoing! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the composition homework :) 
Please take note of the comments below: 

Question: What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?

Your Answer: People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

>> People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve it through positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. Sometimes people choose ineffective ways like heavy drinking, heavy smoking. In my case, I tend to oversleep when I get stressed but I get headaches afterwards. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

----

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! 

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113256 What motivates you to do a great job at work? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 314
113255 what I do in morning to evening ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 216
113254 Why the farm animals are important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-26 193
113253 1025(3) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 167
113252 1025(2) ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 178
113251 1025 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 195
113250 I prefer desert ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 537
113249 Which is shorter your hair or your mom\'s hair? Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 195
113248 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0
113247 Happy Birthday To my brother! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 397
113246 Can you name three things that you like about your job? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 1
113245 In what ways are credit cards better than cash? Á¶*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 231
113244 Do you like travelling? Why? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 917
113243 Homework from the lesson 10252021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 460
113242 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 212
113241 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 183
113240 What were the two last things that made you happy? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113239 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 188
113238 Is it good that professional sports are so commercial nowadays? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 2
113237 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04