¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-10-21 499

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?
- People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeoing! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the composition homework :) 
Please take note of the comments below: 

Question: What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?

Your Answer: People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

>> People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve it through positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. Sometimes people choose ineffective ways like heavy drinking, heavy smoking. In my case, I tend to oversleep when I get stressed but I get headaches afterwards. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

----

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! 

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112167 writing part1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 733
112166 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 0
112165 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-24 1
112164 Fight or flight! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 291
112163 What do you think about multiracial marriage? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 1
112162 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 258
112161 Get up ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 1
112160 My favorite Korean dish ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 293
112159 Peer pressure? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 2
112158 Homework~~~~~~~~~!!!!! ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 471
112157 9 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 309
112156 HOMEWORK FOR 09.23 ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 0
112155 What do you think is the perfect thing to do this upcoming long... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 284
112154 Chuseok is Korea\'s thanksgiving day, on that note, can you tell... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 1
112153 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 303
112152 Do you like sharing food with other people? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 791
112151 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 1
112150 Beauty salon ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 1
112149 Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 260
112148 House ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-23 273

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04