¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-10-21 805

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?
- People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeoing! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the composition homework :) 
Please take note of the comments below: 

Question: What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?

Your Answer: People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

>> People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve it through positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. Sometimes people choose ineffective ways like heavy drinking, heavy smoking. In my case, I tend to oversleep when I get stressed but I get headaches afterwards. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

----

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! 

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112244 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 452
112243 When you were a child, what did you want to grow up to be?... °¥*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 493
112242 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 389
112241 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 413
112240 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 453
112239 away from ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 1
112238 HOMEWORK: What would you do if you were trapped in an island? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 1
112237 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 391
112236 Describe a time when you had to assist a co-worker. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 306
112235 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 418
112234 Homework {09/27} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 331
112233 Since we celebrated Chu Seok, what are you most thankful for? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 408
112232 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 736
112231 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 807
112230 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 339
112229 speaking part1 ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 334
112228 What is the most interesting city to visit in your country? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 306
112227 page 28 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 335
112226 Could you tell me about your graduation experience? ¹Ú*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 350
112225 Friendship ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-27 380

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04