¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Á¤
2021-10-21 673

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?
- People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yu Jeoing! 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about the composition homework :) 
Please take note of the comments below: 

Question: What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to deal with stress?

Your Answer: People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve their stress by positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. And sometimes people choose uneffective way. For examples heavy drinking, heavy smoking, or anything immoderately. In my case I tend to oversleep when I get stressed. And I get headache when I oversleep. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

>> People who are familiar with dealing with stress usually relieve it through positive ways like working out, reading, going out with family or friends. Sometimes people choose ineffective ways like heavy drinking, heavy smoking. In my case, I tend to oversleep when I get stressed but I get headaches afterwards. So I'd like to be a person who copes with stress through exercise.

----

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! 

~Miya^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110881 Page 34 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 231
110880 Does color affect your emotions? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 307
110879 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 2
110878 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 342
110877 Have you ever had a job interview before? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 3
110876 Tell me something about your memorable experience at our school. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 297
110875 What is your philosophy in life? - interview answer ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 296
110874 What is one thing you\'ve never done but would like to do? È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 5
110873 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 256
110872 Use \"scenery\" and \"visit\" in correct sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 309
110871 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 419
110870 page 34 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 240
110869 What is your dream house? Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 360
110868 page 31 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 438
110867 There are so many pretty uniforms that I want to draw! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 294
110866 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 0
110865 Sun Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 292
110864 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 334
110863 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 283
110862 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-13 362

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04