¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can people maintain good health?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*¿µ
2021-10-21 353

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country people love to ride a bike regardless of age.So they usually have participated in riding a bicycle club. It¡¯s a chance for them to stay healthy and mingle with their peers. Bicycle encourage they gather to have fun as well as move their bones and muscle. It make for them to improve their health conditions.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sally!

Thank you for answering the question. Let's discuss this one in our class later.
Kindly, check the corrections and suggestions below.

In my country people love to ride a bike regardless of age. 
>> In my country, people love to ride a bike regardless of the age.
So they usually have participated in riding a bicycle club.
>> Correct!
It¡¯s a chance for them to stay healthy and mingle with their peers. 
>> Correct! 
Bicycle encourage they gather to have fun as well as move their bones and muscle. 
>> Riding a bicycle encourages the people to gather and have fun as well as move their bones and muscles.
It make for them to improve their health conditions.
>> It helps them to improve their health conditions. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112670 What do you like to do outside of work? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 354
112669 How can you become a successful dentist? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 3
112668 Is it good to be creative? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2
112667 What is your dream hospital to work at? Share your thoughts in a... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1369
112666 10.07 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 2
112665 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 245
112664 School will be disappeared if there are not teachers. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 468
112663 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 375
112662 ESSAY ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 605
112661 What do you think of Paralympic Games? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 239
112660 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 816
112659 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 269
112658 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 343
112657 HOMEWORK: Do you think you are a fashionable person? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 3
112656 HOMEWORK: What are the achievements that you want to achieve... ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 0
112655 HOMEWORK: Do you like short travels or long travels? why? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 1
112654 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 358
112653 49 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 237
112652 45 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 792
112651 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-07 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04