¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How can people maintain good health?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*¿µ
2021-10-21 495

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country people love to ride a bike regardless of age.So they usually have participated in riding a bicycle club. It¡¯s a chance for them to stay healthy and mingle with their peers. Bicycle encourage they gather to have fun as well as move their bones and muscle. It make for them to improve their health conditions.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sally!

Thank you for answering the question. Let's discuss this one in our class later.
Kindly, check the corrections and suggestions below.

In my country people love to ride a bike regardless of age. 
>> In my country, people love to ride a bike regardless of the age.
So they usually have participated in riding a bicycle club.
>> Correct!
It¡¯s a chance for them to stay healthy and mingle with their peers. 
>> Correct! 
Bicycle encourage they gather to have fun as well as move their bones and muscle. 
>> Riding a bicycle encourages the people to gather and have fun as well as move their bones and muscles.
It make for them to improve their health conditions.
>> It helps them to improve their health conditions. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113374 Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 355
113373 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 1
113372 What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 296
113371 Is having a goal in life effective in becoming successful? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 2
113370 How do you catch one\'s attention in business? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 264
113369 Licenses ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 517
113368 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 3
113367 Are you always prepared? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 1
113366 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 386
113365 I didn\\\'t know time was diffrent in earth À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 2
113364 How does stress affect you? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 0
113363 Do you think modern technology reduces or increases stress? Why? ·ù*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 354
113362 Homework from the lesson 10282021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 466
113361 What is special in your neighborhood that most Indonesians... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 1
113360 Which is heavier, an elephant or a hamster? Which is lighter, a... Àü*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 695
113359 homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 842
113358 Do you agree that money makes the world go around? Explain your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 0
113357 Always, too much is bad ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 512
113356 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 347
113355 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-28 465

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04