¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should we try to make life as uncomfortable as possible for people in jail?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼±*
2021-10-21 408

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think so. Who goes to prison? Always, someone who did something wrong is sent to prison, and then they need to pay for what they did. That¡¯s why prisons were set up and the prisoner spend time regretting his wrongdoing. It means that prisoners don¡¯t need to have comfortable jail, Through this punishment, the prisoner has to know how harshly he would be treated when he breaks the rules or hurts others in society. If they stay at the prison comfortably, they are never afraid to be back to the prions at all times. In case, they will commit crimes over and over, and it is like a vicious circle of disorder. To campaign those criminals, the prison should be the harsh areas.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sun Jung,
Thank you so much for articulating your opinions!
Have an exceptional Friday and a great weekend!
Teacher Elly.
Should we try to make life as uncomfortable as possible for people in jail?
Yes, I think so. 
CORRECT!
or>>Yes, this is my opinion.
Who goes to prison? 
CORRECT!
or>>Who should go to prison? 
Always, someone who did something wrong is sent to prison, and then they need to pay for what they did. 
>>It's always the person who did something wrong who should be sent to prison. Because they need to pay for what they did. 
That¡¯s why prisons were set up and the prisoner spend time regretting his wrongdoing. 
>>That¡¯s why prisons were set up where the prisoners will spend their time regretting their wrongdoings. 
It means that prisoners don¡¯t need to have comfortable jail, 
>>It means that the prisoners aren't comfortable when they're in jail. 
Through this punishment, the prisoner has to know how harshly he would be treated when he breaks the rules or hurts others in society. 
>>Through punishment, the prisoner has to know how harshly he would be treated when he breaks the rules or when he hurts people within the society. 
If they stay at the prison comfortably, they are never afraid to be back to the prions at all times. 
>>If they stay inside the prison comfortably, they will never be afraid to go back to prison several times. 
In case, they will commit crimes over and over, and it is like a vicious circle of disorder. 
>>When they start committing a crime, it will become like a vicious cycle that repeats itself over and over again, which then will turn to a disorder. 
To campaign those criminals, the prison should be the harsh areas.
>>To do a campaign against those criminals, the prison should be a harsh area for them.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112010 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 527
112009 What are the traditional things that Koreans do during Chu Seok? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 799
112008 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 670
112007 What will you do if the item or product you bought was damaged? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 563
112006 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 432
112005 My answering ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 1
112004 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 4
112003 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 435
112002 School ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 592
112001 what I will good at it ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 855
112000 Can you talk about three things that scare you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 0
111999 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 485
111998 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 1
111997 33th homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 2
111996 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 1
111995 Appropriate determiner ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 367
111994 Do you think that art is important to society? why? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 450
111993 . °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 0
111992 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 3
111991 bellboy ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-15 758

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04