¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My hardest problem in my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-22 584

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hardest problem is relationship with other people.
Every people have different personality.
I think my personality is positive and energetic.
So sometime other people, they feeling to me uncomfortable and so high tension.
But they are very few people.
In my opinion, my personality's most important thing is friendship.
When I fight other person or friends, I feel so uncomfortable.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Challenges and problems are important parts of life that give you experiences, make you learn and help you to become wiser and stronger. Problems make us grow and shape us. The biggest problem people have is that they hope for a life without problems. Regardless of the result, value the experience and personal growth.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

My hardest problem is relationship with other people.
>>My hardest problem is building relationships with other people.

Every people have different personality.
>> Every person has different personalities. 

I think my personality is positive and energetic.
>> I think my personality is that I am positive and energetic.

So sometime other people, they feeling to me uncomfortable and so high tension.
>> So for some people, they sometimes feel uncomfortable when I show these personalities of mine. 

But they are very few people.
>> But it only happens to a few people. 

In my opinion, my personality's most important thing is friendship.
>> In my opinion, our personalities are very important roles in friendship. 

When I fight other person or friends, I feel so uncomfortable.
>> When I fight with other my friends or other people, I feel so uncomfortable.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115030 Older divorcees outnumber young ones À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 1
115029 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 854
115028 homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 877
115027 Are older people actually wiser? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 1
115026 Why my favorite cartoon character is mickey mouse ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 380
115025 Why I have a birthday party with my friends ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 629
115024 What are your favorite customs? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 2
115023 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 646
115022 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 944
115021 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 4
115020 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 0
115019 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 0
115018 My problem ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 2
115017 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-26 1
115016 Lie ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 481
115015 Is there a right time to give up and stop trying? or should you... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 2
115014 My brother\'s advantage ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 698
115013 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 466
115012 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 411
115011 What advice would you like to give to your old self and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 394

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04