¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My hardest problem in my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-10-22 283

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My hardest problem is relationship with other people.
Every people have different personality.
I think my personality is positive and energetic.
So sometime other people, they feeling to me uncomfortable and so high tension.
But they are very few people.
In my opinion, my personality's most important thing is friendship.
When I fight other person or friends, I feel so uncomfortable.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Challenges and problems are important parts of life that give you experiences, make you learn and help you to become wiser and stronger. Problems make us grow and shape us. The biggest problem people have is that they hope for a life without problems. Regardless of the result, value the experience and personal growth.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

My hardest problem is relationship with other people.
>>My hardest problem is building relationships with other people.

Every people have different personality.
>> Every person has different personalities. 

I think my personality is positive and energetic.
>> I think my personality is that I am positive and energetic.

So sometime other people, they feeling to me uncomfortable and so high tension.
>> So for some people, they sometimes feel uncomfortable when I show these personalities of mine. 

But they are very few people.
>> But it only happens to a few people. 

In my opinion, my personality's most important thing is friendship.
>> In my opinion, our personalities are very important roles in friendship. 

When I fight other person or friends, I feel so uncomfortable.
>> When I fight with other my friends or other people, I feel so uncomfortable.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112271 What do you think can depress kids nowadays? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112270 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 269
112269 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 305
112268 Medicine ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 412
112267 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 3
112266 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112265 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112264 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112263 Howework ±Ç*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112262 Is it good to experience difficulties in life? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 320
112261 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 0
112260 If you can make a law, what would it be and why? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 297
112259 More Vaccinated Koreans Plan Overseas Travel À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112258 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 2
112257 Do you usually watch movies at the theater or watch them at home? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112256 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1
112255 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 3
112254 If you can make a rule in your school, what would it be and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 354
112253 You\'ve mentioned that your masterpiece is your daughter. Please... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 313
112252 plan for vacation À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04