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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10252021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-25 469

회원님의 영작문



Oct 25 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

When we think of a celebrity, we don’t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost. Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame. A successful celebrity’s aura is often so intense that people are too taken

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Eunbee!  Thank you for writing a logical essay. You made grammatically correct sentences. Keep up the good work.


- Debbie


Oct. 25, 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

When we think of a celebrity, we don’t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. 
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> When we think of a celebrity, we don’t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money monthly.

Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. 
>> This is a good sentence.

That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> That is the reason why quite several teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.

However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. 
>> Most of them, however, confessed that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they were presented to the public. 

Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame.
>> Moreover, even after their successful debuts, they still have to struggle to retain their fame.


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02
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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