¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10252021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-25 511

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Oct 25 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost. Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame. A successful celebrity¡¯s aura is often so intense that people are too taken

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Eunbee!  Thank you for writing a logical essay. You made grammatically correct sentences. Keep up the good work.


- Debbie


Oct. 25, 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?


When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. 
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money monthly.

Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. 
>> This is a good sentence.

That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> That is the reason why quite several teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.

However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. 
>> Most of them, however, confessed that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they were presented to the public. 

Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame.
>> Moreover, even after their successful debuts, they still have to struggle to retain their fame.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113050 What interview question needs to be asked in all interviews? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113049 essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 235
113048 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 279
113047 What is the main problem faced by your hometown? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 259
113046 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113045 Which car brand/model is becoming popular among your peers ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 735
113044 Can you tell if a kid will grow up to be a criminal? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 2
113043 Vacation ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 2
113042 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 289
113041 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 8
113040 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 6
113039 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 5
113038 Beautiful photo to painting ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 223
113037 What is your dream car? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 296
113036 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 225
113035 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 0
113034 1019 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 269
113033 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 206
113032 Busy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1
113031 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 281

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04