¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10252021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-25 622

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Oct 25 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost. Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame. A successful celebrity¡¯s aura is often so intense that people are too taken

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Eunbee!  Thank you for writing a logical essay. You made grammatically correct sentences. Keep up the good work.


- Debbie


Oct. 25, 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?


When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. 
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money monthly.

Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. 
>> This is a good sentence.

That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> That is the reason why quite several teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.

However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. 
>> Most of them, however, confessed that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they were presented to the public. 

Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame.
>> Moreover, even after their successful debuts, they still have to struggle to retain their fame.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112838 What did you like best about elementary school? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 3
112837 Electricity ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 330
112836 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 452
112835 Sometimes I\'m obidient boy sometimes I\'m not. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 378
112834 The best worst job ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112833 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 499
112832 July in korea it is summer time however in australian it is... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112831 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 351
112830 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 320
112829 0113 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112828 What will you do if you get infected by COVID-19? Answer in a... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 349
112827 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 893
112826 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 0
112825 8 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 487
112824 What do you think is the best way to preserve languages? Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 372
112823 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 339
112822 Worst Natural Disaster Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 585
112821 What vices do you have? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112820 What characteristics should we look for in a candidate who is... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 443
112819 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 485

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04