¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why the farm animals are important

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-10-26 307

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the farm animals are important.
That is because we can eat they to have protein.
My second reason is we can use their fur to make clothes.
Third, can make invents about animals similar. Example, we can see duck's feet, and we can make flippers.
Finally, we can block the farm animals are extinction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Joey! It's nice to know that you know how farm animals help people.  You were able to use good expressions in your homework. Keep it up!

- Teacher Debbie

I think the farm animals are important.
>> This is a good sentence.

That is because we can eat they to have protein.
>> That is because we can eat them to get protein.

My second reason is we can use their fur to make clothes.
>> The second reason is we can use their fur to make clothes.

Third, can make invents about animals similar. 
>> Third, we can invent something similar to animal parts.

Example, we can see duck's feet, and we can make flippers.
>> For example, the flippers are similar to the ducks' feet.

Finally, we can block the farm animals are extinction.
>> Therefore, we should prevent farm animal extinction.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112785 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112784 4 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 363
112783 58 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 407
112782 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 348
112781 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 328
112780 Writing ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112779 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 444
112778 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 3
112777 Ideal job. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112776 What do you think is the hardest part about being a student?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 388
112775 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 370
112774 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 380
112773 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 388
112772 How did you spend your long weekend? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 0
112771 Cartoons ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 372
112770 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112769 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112768 Please make a sentence with these expressions: ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 393
112767 What are the things you are good at? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 0
112766 wild fire À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04