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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Would you describe your workplace as formal or casual?

작성자: 선*
2021-10-26 192

회원님의 영작문

I have been working at this company for about 15 years, and I am satisfied with my working life at all times. The first time when I started working, we had few female workers, so I had no female colleagues. Instead, I have many male colleagues around me. After work, I hung around with male colleagues for eating, playing, or coffee. As time goes by, female colleagues appear little by little at my company, so I have many female colleagues around me, but this time there are age gaps between newcomers and me. It means it’s still difficult to make friends with female newcomers. When I look back on my company life, relationship, or communication seems to be very important to make me stay at the same company for a long time. My workplace can be an exemplary atmosphere on this issue.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning Sun Jung! 
I think no matter what, workplace should always follow the guidelines when to be formal and casual. 
We shouldn't cross the line, be professional and do good work. 
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your effort! 

I have been working at this company for about 15 years, and I am satisfied with my working life at all times. 
>> CORRECT!
The first time when I started working, we had few female workers, so I had no female colleagues. 
>> When I first started working here, there were few female colleagues. 
Instead, I have many male colleagues around me. 
>> Instead, there are many male colleagues around me.
After work, I hung around with male colleagues for eating, playing, or coffee. 
>> After work, I spent time eating, playing, and drinking coffee with my male colleagues.
As time goes by, female colleagues appear little by little at my company, so I have many female colleagues around me, but this time there are age gaps between newcomers and me. 
>> As time goes by, female colleagues appear little by little in our company, so there are many female colleagues around, but this time there is an age gap from newcomers. 
It means it’s still difficult to make friends with female newcomers. 
>> CORRECT! 
When I look back on my company life, relationship, or communication seems to be very important to make me stay at the same company for a long time.
>> CORRECT! 
My workplace can be an exemplary atmosphere on this issue.
>> My workplace can be an exemplary atmosphere for this issue.
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