¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think health care should be free?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*¿µ
2021-10-26 439

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think health care should be free for everyone who needs it because health care is very important to improve our health conditions. If health care is not be free, it makes a financial burden on people who do not have money. So, I think the government should give all the financial support about health care for people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sally!

I totally agree with your opinion and idea. Thank you for sharing about it. 

Please check the corrections and suggestions:

1. I think health care should be free for everyone who needs it because health care is very important to improve our health conditions. 
>> Correct! 
2. If health care is not be free, it makes a financial burden on people who do not have money. 
>> If health care is not for free, it makes a financial burden on people who do not have money.
3. So, I think the government should give all the financial support about health care for people.
>> So, I think the government should give all the financial support about health care to people.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114094 homework. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 6
114093 weekend ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 3
114092 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 295
114091 essay about the \"what do we growing kids like to do\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 5
114090 If you had money to spare, what would you invest in? Why? ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 0
114089 What makes you sad? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 332
114088 (y)homework ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 0
114087 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114086 housing prices ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1400
114085 \"Experience is the best teacher\". Do you agree with this? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114084 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 611
114083 What\'s the most beautiful place you have visited? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114082 moon base À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 1
114081 correction RQ if any. ¼­*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-11-23 4
114080 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 270
114079 What car would you want to drive when you are working? (Since I... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 334
114078 Why is honesty important? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 2
114077 11/22 homework ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 414
114076 My situation. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 705
114075 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 309

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04