¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think health care should be free?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*¿µ
2021-10-26 469

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think health care should be free for everyone who needs it because health care is very important to improve our health conditions. If health care is not be free, it makes a financial burden on people who do not have money. So, I think the government should give all the financial support about health care for people.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Sally!

I totally agree with your opinion and idea. Thank you for sharing about it. 

Please check the corrections and suggestions:

1. I think health care should be free for everyone who needs it because health care is very important to improve our health conditions. 
>> Correct! 
2. If health care is not be free, it makes a financial burden on people who do not have money. 
>> If health care is not for free, it makes a financial burden on people who do not have money.
3. So, I think the government should give all the financial support about health care for people.
>> So, I think the government should give all the financial support about health care to people.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113069 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 727
113068 Human beings are being judged according to their social status... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 527
113067 musical instrument ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 451
113066 what I will wear in my school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 338
113065 My bad behaviors ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 346
113064 What are your hopes before this year ends? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1007
113063 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ±è*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 385
113062 How to response to customer À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 335
113061 sad ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 389
113060 Dinosaurs ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 297
113059 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113058 Today\'s homework Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 4
113057 Writing Task: What would you say is the best thing about the... ¹Ú*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113056 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 423
113055 In what ways can you help more people? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113054 Best thing of birthplace ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 336
113053 When it comes to selling a product or service, you have to know... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1043
113052 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 294
113051 Homework from the lesson 10192021 Á¶*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 325
113050 What interview question needs to be asked in all interviews? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04