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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework from the lesson 10262021

작성자: 조*비
2021-10-26 251

회원님의 영작문



Oct 26 2021
Homework: What aspects of your present life would you miss if you became a celebrity?

Though I’ve never wanted to become a celebrity, I have imagined what it would be like if I were famous. Normally, in my imagination, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have. It makes me wonder what it would feel like to be judged and assessed by others 24-7. This idea is one of the reasons that make me back off from the idea of being famous. If I ever become famous, I will miss my privacy the most. The freedom to talk irrational things with my friends, to walk the street without the fear of my picture taken, and to wear whatever I want.
In addition, I can’t help but think that I will loose a lot of relationships that I have. No matter how sincere they seem to be, we cannot be sure if our friends and family will see us the same way if we become a celebrity. Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet, because,it can be necessary to figure

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Eunbee! Thank you for making grammatically correct sentences. However, please be careful with punctuation marks. 


- Debbie

Oct. 26, 2021
Homework: What aspects of your present life would you miss if you became a celebrity?

Though I’ve never wanted to become a celebrity, I have imagined what it would be like if I were famous. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Normally, in my imagination, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have.
>> Normally, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have.

 It makes me wonder what it would feel like to be judged and assessed by others 24-7. 
>>  This is a good sentence.

This idea is one of the reasons that make me back off from the idea of being famous. 
>> This idea is one of the reasons that made me back off from the idea of being famous.

If I ever become famous, I will miss my privacy the most. 
>>  This is a good sentence.

The freedom to talk irrational things with my friends, to walk the street without the fear of my picture taken, and to wear whatever I want.
>> I will miss the freedom to talk about irrational things with my friends, walk the streets without the fear of my pictures being taken, and wear whatever I want.

In addition, I can’t help but think that I will loose a lot of relationships that I have.
>> In addition, I can’t help but think that I will lose a lot of relationships that I have.

No matter how sincere they seem to be, we cannot be sure if our friends and family will see us the same way if we become a celebrity.
>> No matter how sincere they seem, we cannot be sure if our friends and families will see us the same way if we become celebrities.

Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet, because,it can be necessary to figure
>> Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet because it can be necessary to figure out what they want from being close to me, a famous person.
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03
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